The Sins of the Seven 09 Forgiveness: The Seven
Sun, Secrets, and the Shape of Forgiveness.
Enjoy the ninth chapter of Rhodes Ave. Press’ novel, The Sins of the Seven.
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Las Colinas Villas, Cabo San Lucas, May 1996
Kylie styled her hair into a neat pair of Dutch braids sitting in front of the mirror in her room.
The ring of braids perfectly framed her delicate face as she took extra care to apply some blush and lipstick. Kylie’s skin glowed on this particular evening, a product of soaking up the sun and the sea water all day, the sun having left its distinctive kiss on her skin as it bronzed just around the edges of her face.
“Knock, knock,” Brad said playfully rapping her knuckles on the doorframe of Kylie’s open room. “Oh, hi babe,” Kylie said craning her head to look in Brad’s direction.
“What do you think?” Kylie asked playfully drawing a circle around her head pointing out her Dutch braid to Brad. “I could never get my hair to do something that cute,” Brad said deadpan. “That’s why I have to do this,” Brad said pointing at her messy ponytail.
“Nonsense,” Kylie said, “Come right over here,” Kylie said, patting the bed next to her. Brad sat on the edge of Kylie’s bed facing the mirror. Kylie put a brush and a small pile of pins on the bed beside her and then hoisted herself onto her knees behind Brad.
Kylie undid Brad’s ponytail letting her sleek, shiny hair drape across Brad's shoulders. Kylie gently pulled the brush back through Brad’s hair.
After brushing Brad’s hair out, Kylie ran her forefinger and middle finger through the crown of Brad’s head pulling back a handful of hair as Kylie began grabbing swaths of hair pulling into a high ponytail that began to create a more cohesive look on Brad’s head. As Brad watched Kylie work, she was surprised at how pulling her hair back and up into such a high style dramatically transformed the shape of her face, her eyes no longer hidden behind messy bangs.
And was Brad dreaming or did pulling her hair back and styling it so seem to make her tits look bigger? Maybe Brad was just imagining it or maybe Kylie’s quick styling had given Brad a sudden boost of confidence.
Kylie also took to applying a smattering of blush and a peach-colored lip liner to Brad’s face. “Just to give you that extra glow, babe,” Kylie said.
Marveling at what she had created in the mirror, Kylie happily declared, “Look at you, babe, you are a straight 10!”
“Mexico isn’t going to know what hit them tonight when this stunner hits the dance floor,” Kylie declared. Brad did have to admit, she thought she looked pretty good. Brad took a moment tilting and angling her head just so to get a better look at this creature staring back at her.
In all her years now on Breakers, regularly getting her hair and makeup done by stylists, it was hard for Brad to ever truly see herself in the photos and on TV. It was hard for Brad to see her picture or see herself on screen because all she could see was the hairstyling and makeup, but this was the first time she could actually see herself coming through as if her face had finally mastered the ability to break through all the superficial layering.
Brad told herself she really had to let Kylie do her hair and makeup more often.
Brad and Kylie descended the stairs from Kylie’s room to the villa’s courtyard where The Seven had adjoined for dinner.
Following the filming of Season 4, The Seven decided to reward themselves on getting another season in the can with a cast trip to Cabo San Lucas for a chance to bond and let loose. Paige and the others thought it only fitting having survived a tumultuous transition between Season 3 and four. Paige, if anyone, thought the slaying of Vanessa Maxwell deserved a vacation alone. As with everything involving The Seven, the trip came with a few surprises of itself. One of the major surprises being that Marion brought along Scott, Richard’s former assistant, now known to the group as Marion’s lover.
It had long been discussed amongst The Seven that Marion’s relationship with Scott was partly to blame for the flameout of her courtship with Richard.
In reality, it was Marion’s relationship with Scott that allowed Marion to exit her showmance with Richard in that Marion used Scott as leverage with Howard to release her from the sham relationship lest she initiate her own tabloid storyline that Marion ran off from her alcoholic/drug-addled cast mate with ‘the help.’ Howard balked at the idea and granted Marion the freedom she so desperately wanted if only to keep her happy and complacent and to defer any tabloid scrutiny on Richard’s emerging demons early in Breakers’ run. Thankfully, Richard and Scott parted ways amicably and as a way to ensure Scott would stay far from the spotlight, Howard also engineered Scott a job as the show’s production coordinator to ensure his continued silence.
Thus far on the trip, Scott and Richard remained friendly and congenial. Richard even at one point, pulled Scott aside and gave him a ‘man-to-man’ talk telling him, in essence that, he was happy Marion and Scott had found someone who made each other happy.
In fact, despite Richard’s momentary relapse under the influence of Vanessa, Richard had by and large had a pretty even keel Season 3. Following Vanessa’s departure, Richard resumed going to therapy and with moderation stayed sober enough so he was able to perform and close out the season on a good note.
But being in Mexico with Marion and Scott was definitely testing Richard’s resolve. The only thing that kept Richard from going completely off the reservation was the desire to keep his relationships and standing amongst The Seven intact as he knew any upset to the group dynamic would certainly send Richard into another downward spiral or worse.
As Kylie and Brad approached the courtyard, Paige and Alex appeared from their rooms. “How are you two lovebirds?” Kylie asked playfully. “I’ll have you know,” Alex said just as playfully, “Paige and I are just sharing rooms, we’re not married yet,” he said laughing and holding up his ring finger. “Not yet but someday soon, playboy,” Paige said happily.
“Can you believe how good everyone looks?” Alex said. “Brad,” Alex continues, “You’re looking particularly ravishing tonight. The sun and sea water does you well.”
“My secret is Kylie,” Brad said with a sly grin. The villa staff had set up a long table in the courtyard flanked with gently-twinkling candles.
Richard appeared in the courtyard looking handsome in a black linen shirt and matching pants.
Richard sat at the head of the table while Alex took the seat to his right, followed by Paige, Marion and then Scott while Brad, Sierra, and Kylie sat across the table.
Plate after plate of tacos and glass after glass of margaritas were served to everyone who began eagerly eating and drinking. As a server placed a margarita in front of Richard, he kindly touched the waiters arm and said, “Just a club soda with lots of lime for me, please.”
Just as everyone was making their way through tacos and before the next round of plates was to hit the table, Richard clanged a fork against his glass announcing, “Everyone, I’d like to propose a toast.” The Seven stopped eating and looked towards Richard who stood, drink in hand.
“Wow, guys,” Richard began, “Who would’ve thought three years ago, The Seven of us would’ve come as far as we have?” There was a small smattering of applause as Richard continued, “You know, I’ve had a lot of time to think about everything that’s transpired in the three seasons leading up to now and I realize that I am better for knowing each and every one of you. You’ve stood by for what I can easily say were some of the shittiest times in my life even though I know I wasn’t exactly the easiest guy to stand by. And today I stand here humbled and in honor of the forgiveness and kindness you’ve extended to me, even in my darkest times.”
“I mean who would’ve ever thought I’d ever become sober? Certainly not me, that’s for one. I’m better today because of knowing you and you guys make me happy to wake up everyday because being a part of The Seven makes me who I am, you guys make me complete and I want to be sober and stay sober for each and every one of you.” As if realizing some great revelation while speaking, Richard paused before clarifying, “But it’s more than staying sober for you guys, you guys make me want to stay sober for me and for that I’m forever grateful.”
And, in that moment, The Seven did what it did best, the group crowded around Richard and embraced him tenderly in a group hug as Richard basked in the love of his cast mates, the cast mates who had forever changed his future and his life as a whole.
Las Colinas Villas, Cabo San Lucas, May 1996
Kylie, Brad, Paige and Sierra descended to the beach below Las Colinas.
Alex was already up to his chest in the late morning waves of the warm Pacific Ocean. As soon as he saw the girls descending to the warm sand, Alex motioned for the girls to come join him in the water.
The girls dropped their bags on the lounge chairs lined up on the beach. The girls undid their cover ups and delicately draped them over the back of the loungers and flung their strappy sandals into the sand nearby. “Come on, girls, let’s swim out to Alex,” Paige encouraged the girls who were busy handing drink orders to the waiters busily buzzing around the loungers.
“Order Alex a margarita,” Paige called out to Sierra as she was giving her drink order. Once the girls placed their orders, they began heading to the water’s edge where the dying remnants of waves licked the mid-morning sun-baked sand.
Sierra dipped her toe into the water and stepped further out into the sea as the warm water came up to her mid thigh. Brad followed closely in tow pulling her hair into a ponytail as she the water approached her chest. “It’s so perfectly warm,” Kylie cooed looking out across the glassy ocean’s surface as the girls felt the currents and the adulation of the ocean’s waves softly pulling and pushing the girls back and forth as Alex waved to them in the distance. “Everything in this moment is perfect,” Kylie said stoically.
“Come on, girls,” Paige said cheerfully as she approached from behind, “last one to Alex is a loser,” Paige dove headfirst into the water and began paddling out towards Alex with Brad, Sierra and Kylie shortly behind. As the girls reached Alex, the water was shallower and the girls were able to stand.
“Morning, handsome,” Paige said to Alex cheerily. “We ordered you a margarita,” Paige said motioning towards the shoreline.
“Oh, thanks, dear,” Alex said to Paige happily. “I’ll come in to grab it, I kind of just wanted to float out here for a minute,” Alex said as he leaned back and opened his arms wide letting his feet off the ocean’s floor as he ascended into a floating position.
“Think I’ll join you if you don’t mind,” Paige said as she followed suit floating aside Alex. Before long, the five found themselves floating like a school of sea turtles, their bellies turned upwards towards the sun and as Alex floated, he floated away into a distant memory.
Penn Station, New York, NY, November 1988
Alex Russo was turned around by the sheer volume of people crowding into Penn Station ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. A mass of humanity flowed from track to track as Alex desperately searched the signs for the track leading to Rahway and eventually Elizabeth, his hometown.
Alex had a duffel bag slung over one arm, his hand tightly clutching a paper handle bag from Zabar’s containing pastries for his mother.
Ms. Russo always bemoaned the pastries available at the local bakery in Elizabeth and always pleaded with Alex to bring her pastries from Zabar’s a request Alex always happily obliged on his trips home which had become far too infrequent over the years. Each time Alex would see the cream colored bags with the distinct orange Zabar’s logo emblazoned on them pass by in the city, Alex would be hit by another urge to return home to visit. But as always, something would get in Alex’s way of returning home, a callback, an audition, or a job or the same old nagging feeling that Alex had moved on from his simple life in Elizabeth and that he had no place for himself back home. Alex had moved on from his small town and was now becoming a puzzle piece that simply didn’t fit into the world he once knew. His very shape, the edges of his self had become hardened and misshapen to the point where he had become the odd piece that made the puzzle incomplete. Elizabeth was a sleepy suburb abutting the rough-hewn and gritty industrial area of Elizabethport, a port town that lived under the constant scream of jetliners landing at Newark Airport.
Elizabeth also was the home to painful memories of Alex’s youth. It all started in seventh grade when Alex told his friend Bobby Lee that he was in love with him. Alex soon found himself ostracized from the other kids his age and the target of constant bullying and harassment.
As many kids in similar situations as Alex did, he threw himself into theater and the arts seeking any possible avenues through which to express himself. Given that on a clear day, one could see the spires of Manhattan cresting above the horizon from Elizabeth, Alex used this as his fire and desire to escape Elizabeth at all costs. Alex studied and rehearsed every chance he got - Alex became a stellar student and a rising star in the theater program. Ultimately, Alex’s hard work and drive paid off and he was accepted to The New School with a full ride scholarship.
It was at The New School that Alex truly soared and came into his own, his creativity and true self fully blossoming. It was in this time, Alex was finally able to experience true love, Brady Callahan, a fellow student and Alex hit it off Alex’s final year.
Brady and Alex fell for each other hard and fast - what started innocently and softly at first turned into a passionate affair that saw the two spending almost all their days together before stealing away to hotspots like The Limelight and The Tunnel to dance the night away with their fellow outcasts and misfits.
Brady and Alex moved in together as soon as their final year at The New School was over, the two rented a dingy but charming apartment in a crumbling part of Alphabet City. But what the apartment lacked in refinement, it was more than made up for by the fact that Brady and Alex were together.
Alex finally knew what happiness was - Brady became Alex’s whole world. After the afterglow of graduation wore off, Alex immediately began scrambling to find his next source of income. The New School offered a program to graduates to teach beginner level dance to new students but being that the program wouldn’t start until fall, Alex had to find work to get him through the summer ahead of fall semester, ideally something that would give him the flexibility to look for auditions.
At first, Alex began waiting tables at The World, another of the city’s dark temples of dance and excess where outcasts would perform for crowds of revelers. One particularly late shift, Alex met a plucky blonde girl in the alley on his cigarette break. The girl wore a denim jacket studded with rhinestones and wrists adorned in chunky bracelets. As if peering into his soul, she asked Alex, “What’s your deal, huh?”
“Just another actor trying to make it,” Alex said confidently. “You?” “Just a musician in search of my first big hit,” she said in return. “Name’s Madonna,” she said confidently smacking a piece of gum reaching out to shake his hand.
Every shift at The World took its toll on Alex. Alex would often finish his shift just as the sun was coming up over Manhattan and his walk home clutching a coffee from a street vendor was usually past men in suits hurrying to the trains to their office jobs as Alex wiped glitter and mascara off his weary eyes. Unfortunately, Alex’s all-nighter shifts were not paying the bills on the apartment and he feared having to bail out on his dream of ‘making it’ in New York City.
One night at The World, Alex and Charles, a fellow server at stepped out for a cigarette where Charles seemingly dropped the answer to Alex’s problems in his lap. As Alex and Charles took their smoke break in the alley behind The World, Charles flipped open a matchbook and scribbled a name and number.
“Call him when you get back into the land of the living, you know what normal people call ‘daylight’?” Charles said, “And tell him I sent you, he’ll get you set up with some work that can keep you afloat while you wait for what’s next. You might not even have to slum it working here anymore,” Charles said with a laugh.
Alex turned over the matchbook in his fingers staring at the name and number:
Simon LeGrand
212-555-9729
“Thanks, Charles,” Alex said as he put the matchbook in his pocket.
Lower East Side, New York, NY, June 1987
Alex rolled over in bed as he heard Brady slide out the apartment’s front door on his way to work. Brady had taken a job at a local restaurant and thankfully enjoyed the opportunity to work in daylight, but Brady and Alex’s combined salaries were still struggling to make ends meet. Alex pulled out the matchbook Charles had given him last night, or was it earlier this morning? The long night shifts were starting to seriously distort Alex’s sense of time. Alex spent a moment staring at the name Simon LeGrand, letting his fingers trace the ink for a moment before he summoned up the courage to pick up the phone.
“Hi, Mr. LeGrand, I’m a friend of Charles’,” Alex said out loud practicing and trying to get up the guts to call. Alex swallowed his fear and picked up the receiver and dialed. “Simon LeGrand & Associates,” a chipper voice answered, “Yes, hello,” Alex said trying to sound very official, “Is Mr. LeGrand available?”
“Who may I say is calling?” the voice asked.
“My name is Alex Russo, I’m a friend of Charles,” Alex said very matter-of-factly.
There was a moment of silence on the other end before the voice returned, “Please hold for Mr. LeGrand,” she said as Alex waited.
The voice returned, “Alex, Mr. LeGrand is otherwise engaged but he’d like you to come by his office today at 2pm, the address is 815 Fifth Avenue, suite 22B.”
Not knowing what he was be summoned for, Alex simply told the voice, “I’ll see him then, thank you.”
815 Fifth Ave, New York, NY, June 1987
Alex stepped off the bus at E 63rd & Fifth Ave. - on one side was the verdant greenery of Central Park across from the imposing concrete fortresses of Fifth Ave. Alex walked into the lobby of 815 Fifth Ave and slipped into an elevator with several men in suits and pushed the button for the 22nd floor. Alex could feel the men staring at him and scanning him up and down.
Alex thought maybe they were possibly seeing why he had pushed the button for the 22nd floor? What could be there that aroused such suspicion Alex thought, but Alex wrote this off as sheer paranoia.
As Alex stepped out onto the 22nd floor, he headed towards suite 22B. As Alex stepped into the office, he entered a sterile-looking but tidy waiting room painted all white featuring obscure and avant-garde pieces of modern art hung on the walls beside a sign declaring “Simon LeGrand & Associates, Sydney, Los Angeles, New York, London.”
“Hi,” Alex said cheerily approaching the receptionist, “Alex Russo here for Mr. LeGrand.”
“Ah yes,” the receptionist said raising her gaze to Alex’s eyes.
“He’ll be right with you, please take a seat,” she said motioning to a chair that Alex had a hard time discerning if it was a chair or another piece of art.
Alex sat uncomfortably in the “chair” nervously fidgeting as he tried to size up his surroundings.
Suddenly, a door opened and another young guy about Alex’s age emerged and headed for the office door.
The receptionist looked into the open door and then called out to Alex, “he’s ready for you,” she said motioning for Alex to enter.
Alex walked through the door into another equally stark white office with large windows overlooking Central Park and the towers beyond. In the center sat a desk made of lucite with a handsomely-dressed man with sun-kissed, golden skin in a white suit.
“Mr. LeGrand?” Alex asked.
“Ah yes,” he said lifting his gaze to meet Alex’s - “please sit,” he said motioning towards a chair in front of the desk.
“I understand Charles referred you?” Simon asked as Alex nodded. “Wonderful,” Simon said folding his hands. “Charles is one of our best consultants so the fact that he referred you already bodes well for your future. Are you aware of what kind of business we are in here, Alex?”
“I have to confess I’m not,” Alex said sheepishly shaking his head.
“That’s quite alright,” Simon said in a measured tone.
“Simon LeGrand & Associates are purveyors of fine art worldwide,” he said. “We help our clients, many of them rich and famous find and acquire great works of art,” Simon continued. “But beyond helping our clients acquire beautiful and rare works of art, we also offer several other services to our high-profile clients to keep them satisfied with our services. You see, some of our finest works of art don’t hang on walls.”
“Have you ever worked with a company like ours before?” Simon asked.
Alex, totally confused as to what Simon was asking of him shook his head saying, “No, Mr. LeGrand, I have no background in fine art.”
“That’s totally fine, Alex,” Simon said reaching out to pat his palm on Alex’s hand. “We are always willing to take on newcomers. And I think you’ll find we pay very well.”
“How well is well?” Alex asked.
“Well,” Simon said producing two notecards, “Here are two jobs you can get started on and depending on your performance, we can evaluate your skillset and look at hiring you on for more work.”
Simon slid the two cards toward Alex who read the contents.
The first card read,
Plaza Hotel Lobby Bar
Friday 7 PM
$1000
The second card said,
Bull & Bear, Waldorf Astoria
Friday 10:30 PM
$2500
Alex scanned the two cards before turning up to look at Simon, “What do I have to do?” Alex asked naively.
Simon narrowed his gaze at Alex saying, “Just show up and give our clients what they want. The rest is all up to you,” Simon said menacingly.
Alex folded the two cards and tucked them into his pockets, thanked Simon and stood to leave.
“Once you complete your work. You can pick up your money from Charlotte, the receptionist, on Mondays,” Simon said.
“Thank you,” Alex mumbled as he left.
For the next few months waiting for his teaching gig at The New School, Alex continued picking up a few shifts at The World in between picking up cards from Simon LeGrand and each Monday, he’d return to 815 Fifth Ave to pick up money from his endeavors.
As months stretched into almost a year of living a duplicitous double life, Alex and Brady’s relationship became more and more strained. Brady had his doubts about Alex’s sudden windfalls of money but was too consumed with his own life which consisted of days working at the restaurant followed by nights partying at The Limelight that stretched into even blearier mornings. It came as no surprise then, when one day, Alex found Brady gone with only a handwritten note in his place,
Alex,
I will always love you but I selfishly love myself more.
I have to give you some distance so I don’t weigh you down any more than I already have.
You are capable and deserving of so much more than me and I hope in my absence you realize this. This isn’t me hurting you, this is me saving myself and saving you from me by setting you free. Maybe one day our paths will cross again and until then, I will keep my eyes on your star as you continue to rise.
Love, always,
Brady
Crushed and hollowed-out by Brady’s departure, Alex scrambled to figure out how to move on. Alex knew he had to make a drastic change. Alex’s fortune with auditions in the City was growing thin so he knew he had to go somewhere with more opportunity.
One of Alex’s last Simon LeGrand clients, a gentle and kind man named, Robert, mentioned he lived in West Hollywood, CA. As they laid in bed together, Alex asked Robert to tell him about it.
Robert said it was like the West Village but with palm trees and no subway. Alex liked the sound of that and set his mind to taking his Simon LeGrand savings and using it to move himself to West Hollywood to begin life anew.
But part of moving to a new life meant settling his old one.
Zabar’s, New York, NY, November 1988
“A dozen black and white cookies, please,” Alex asked over the bustling counter at Zabar’s, “and a cookie quartet,” he asked.
Walking out of Zabar’s onto Broadway, Alex made his way towards Penn Station with his duffel ready to say goodbye to Elizabeth and begin his journey towards California.
Madison Ave., Elizabeth, NJ, November 1988
Alex walked through the leafy streets of Elizabeth from the train station to his house. As Alex turned onto the leafy Madison Ave, Alex was hit by a flood of emotions for it was in these very streets that Alex was chased, beaten, spit on and called hurtful names but here was Alex returning to a place so embedded with painful memories, his head held high.
Alex walked amongst the neatly lined up houses scanning for his house but also scanning to see if he recognized anyone who had come home for Thanksgiving.
As Alex approached his house, he could see his Uncle Luca’s gold-colored truck on the street and his cousin Angelo’s red sedan parked in the driveway.
Alex and Angelo had always been incredibly close - they were born within days of each other, a fact that Alex was constantly reminded of by the fact that Alex and Angelo shared the same first initial. Angelo never lived more than a few blocks away from the Russos and the two were regular fixtures in each other’s lives.
Angelo was also the first member of the family Alex came out to and by far the most accepting. Beyond Angelo, the family was mostly accepting but Alex knew that his lifestyle was diametrically opposite from everything about the macho, hyper-masculine Italian culture his family had grown up with so, to that end, Alex continued to be himself but always vacillated between an openness of his true self and a more tailored version of himself he thought was more palatable to their close-mindedness and sheer ignorance.
It was in this vacillation that Alex was able to more finely hone his acting talent, times at home for the holidays would later in life serve as his greatest inspiration when it came to acting, the ability to project and deflect emotion as well as to easily slip into the skin of a character.
Stepping through the screen door to his family’s house, Alex could hear Angelo call out to him, “Hey, cuz!” Angelo said happily. The two cousins lovingly embraced each other. Alex put his duffel down on the couch before heading to the kitchen with his Zabar’s bag.
“Alex, my love!” his mother, Renata called, Renata stopped working at the stove to throw her arms wide and wrap them around Alex giving him a tight hug, her hands spotted with sauce and smelling of basil and garlic.
“Ma,” Alex said motioning to the pot of bubbling marinara, “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be cooking for Thanksgiving?”
“Thanksgiving is tomorrow, bambino,” Renata said, “Tonight I make my famous ziti!” Renata proclaimed with pride, “My son is home and my heart is full,” Renata continued. “And your cousin Alessandra is coming with her new husband Michael for dinner tonight, so we celebrate!” she said as she took a sip off a glass of red wine sitting by the stove.
“And this?” She asked motioning to the Zabar’s bag.
“Desert, ma,” Alex reassured her.
“All the way from the city,” Renata exclaimed kissing her fingers. “How blessed am I to have such a sweet boy?” Renata said to no one in particular.
Just then, Alex’s father, Thomas entered the kitchen. Upon seeing Alex, Thomas gave his son a hearty hug. Noticing the Zabar’s bag, Thomas exclaimed, “Zabar’s huh? Wow, what a treat, are there any black and whites in there?”
Alex nodded as Thomas began fishing about inside the bag. Renata playfully slapped his hand with a dishtowel chiding him, “Alex brought those for desert.”
Turning back towards Alex, Thomas asked, “Is Brady going to be joining us for Thanksgiving?”
Alex hung his head and dropped the truth on them, “Brady and I broke up,” he said solemnly, the words slowly crushing him as they fell from his mouth.
“What did he do to you?” Thomas asked gruffly.
“He didn’t do anything to me,” Alex said matter-of-factly. “Brady has developed some problems he needed to tend to and he’s getting the help he needs.”
“See?” Thomas said, “What did I always say, this lifestyle of yours leads to nothing but heartbreak.”
“Well actually Uncle Thomas,” Angeleo interjected, “Addiction doesn’t really discriminate, you know. Remember how Uncle Gio got hooked on pills and booze? And he was as straight as they come.”
“You’re absolutely right, Angelo,” Thomas said realizing the err of his ways. “I guess I still just have a lot to learn,” he said. Alex was hurt by his father’s reaction but in the end appreciated his understanding and was happy to have Angelo by his side to help.
9033 Elevado Ave, West Hollywood, CA, October 1989
Alex had been in West Hollywood for almost a year now, since arriving in West Hollywood with his savings, Alex found a quaint bungalow a stone’s throw from the hustle and bustle of Boystown.
Alex had also managed to link up with Simon LeGrand’s Beverly Hills office to book some more clandestine “work” which kept Alex afloat while waiting for his acting career to materialize.
Alex found this “work” allowed him to navigate the byzantine network of pleasure and power that runs just beneath the public facade of the entertainment industry. It was through these clandestine liaisons that Alex was able to see the industry’s power players up close and personal, to learn the industry from the inside out. After all, Alex had already penetrated the industry’s most inner circle and while he was there, he began listening and learning all he could about the rich and powerful. Alex paid attention to every detail, taking great pains to remember names and faces as well as titles and connections to others in the industry.
Alex was most likely the only escort in town who had an annual subscription to Daily Variety which he read cover-to-cover daily and used as his bible - Alex knew all the key players and the more and more he learned about them behind closed doors, his pathway to fame became more and more apparent.
As time went on, Alex sometimes would forego waiting for cards from Simon LeGrand & Associates and instead go hunting for his next client at high-end hotel bars like The Polo Lounge and The Four Seasons.
It was such gumption that landed Alex his role on Breakers - Alex spied notorious agent Jeffrey Marks one night at the end of the bar at the Beverly Wilshire and moved in for the kill.
Alex didn’t even have to sleep with the deeply-closeted Jeffrey, he merely used all the tricks and techniques he had learned in his time as an escort to give Jeffrey just enough fantasy so that Jeffrey would in turn, fulfill Alex’s fantasy of having a real, big-time agent representing him.
Las Colinas Villas, Cabo San Lucas, May 1996
“I think I see our drinks being delivered,” Alex said punctuating the air of calm as the girls floated in the ocean. Alex planted his feet on the ocean floor as the waves licked his chin. Paige held her hand up in front of her face to block the sun as she squinted to view the beach attendants busily depositing drinks on the tables beside the loungers. “Fancy yourself a drink, handsome?” Paige asked.
“Last one to shore’s a big loser!” Alex exclaimed as he dove under the waters surface and began paddling towards shore. Alex emerged from the water and laid on the lounger as he took the frosty margarita and raised it to his lips. Alex relished the tartness of the lime mixed with the salt that tickled his lips and the burning of the tequila underneath the sweetness of it all.
As Alex sat watching out across the water, Paige emerged from the sea and began making her way to the loungers. Paige’s piña colada began sweating under the hot late morning sun. Paige sat down happily in the lounger beside Alex. Taking the wedge of pineapple lodged onto the top of her drink, Paige happily took a bite as a small dribble of pineapple juice beaded at the corner of her mouth.
As Paige sipped, she turned to Alex and hoisted her drink towards him. “Cheers to paradise,” Paige said sunnily as Alex raised his drink to meet hers.
As he reached towards Paige, something caught Paige’s eye. “Alex, babe,” she said with overwhelming concern, “What is that?” Paige asked as she reached out her hand to touch Alex’s skin. Just beneath his right arm was a painful looking red lesion touching the tip of his shoulder blade.
Alex instinctively flinched and pulled away. Alex flung a crumpled up t-shirt over his side reassuring Paige, “It’s nothing really, I promise, just this weird allergic rash I keep getting.”
“That’s no rash,” Paige said solemnly. “You don’t have to worry about me,” Alex assured her as Paigethrew her arms around Alex.
“You might not want to touch me,” Alex croaked.
“Don’t touch me!” Alex yelled more forcefully shocking Paige with his anger.
“Hey,” Paige said forcefully, “I’m not scared of you and I never will be. I love you no matter what, you hear me?” Alex just hung his head in shame, “you hear me?” Paige said as Alex meekly shook his head.
As Paige had her arms around Alex, she began softly humming a familiar tune as she began softly singing a portion of the chorus to U2’s “One,”
One life with each other
Sisters, brothers
One life, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other.
“You hear me?” Paige said, “It’s time for us to carry you.”
“No way,” Alex said as tears streamed from his eyes, “No one can know about this,” he said forcefully. “My career will be over.”
“We’re your family, Alex,” Paige reassured him, “Remember, the beauty of The Seven is you have six brothers and sisters who you can always count on.”
“And here come some of them now,” Paige said as Brad, Sierra, and Kylie emerged from the water and began trudging up the sand toward the loungers.
“Please don’t tell them yet,” Alex pleaded with Paige, “I will tell them when I’m ready,” Alex said. “Of course, babe,” Paige said, "The door is open with them, you just have to decide when you want to walk through it,” she said kissing Alex on the tip of his nose.
Las Colinas Villas, Cabo San Lucas, May 1996
After returning to their room at the Villa, Alex laid down for a nap. Paige sat in a comfortable armchair watching Alex sleep while she read a book.
Alex looked so peaceful in sleep, it was almost hard for Paige to reconcile what she now knew about him. It pained Paige dearly to know that behind this peaceful veneer was a tortured soul in pain. Maybe one of the reasons Paige initially became so close to Alex was because she could inherently sense the pain and turmoil he had survived in his short life so far.
Paige could see Alex’s rough edges and hardened plates of armor hidden just behind his friendly and carefree demeanor. Survivors like Paige and Alex had an inherent ability to sense fellow survivors in their midst. But now Paige was struck with a different pain deep in her heart for Alex now that she knew that Alex’s struggle would be looming on the horizon.
Paige feared for the pain and heartache to come but she silently vowed to be there for Alex through the good, the bad and the ugly and whatever may come, she vowed she would be there to help Alex with dignity.
As the day turned over into the evening’s rapidly decaying light, Alex was rustled out of his deep slumber. Alex opened his eyes to see Paige sitting on his bed beside him as she delicately brushed his silken hair from his eyes, the back of her fingers delicately brushing against his cheek as she did so.
Paige curled up beside Alex in bed pulling herself closer until she could feel his knees brushing against the back of her thighs.
After an hour of laying with Alex, Paige caught a glimpse of the time on the bedside clock radio. Turning over towards Alex, Paige softly kissed him on the cheek.
“Wake up, honey,” Paige said softly, “Dinner time.” Alex groaned and turned his body away, “I don’t feel like dinner,” he said.
Putting her hand on Alex’s shoulder she said, “You might feel better if you eat something.”
“Is eating going to somehow keep me from dying?” Alex asked with a twinge of sadness in his voice.
“Fair enough,” Paige said as she traced the outer folds of Alex’s ear with her finger. “But it would mean a lot to me, so won’t you at least try?”
“Paige,” Alex said gruffly, “Sometimes I just get so tired of trying. Trying to stay alive, trying to keep my a secret, trying to pretend like I’m not marching full steam towards some awful agonizing death.”
“Hey now, mister,” Paige said playfully wrapping her arms around Alex’s midsection. In doing so, Paige could feel how Alex’s usually taught torso was becoming more bony.
“And I just can’t believe,” Alex said, “I did this to myself, my dad always said being this lifestyle would lead to nothing but heartache and now I see that he’s right. I chose to lead this life and now this life I’ve lived is leading me right into an early grave.”
“It sounds to me like you need some forgiveness,” Paige said tracing the contours of Alex’s jaw.
“How so?” Alex asked.
“Well, I for one,” Paige said, “Can’t believe I’m saying this but bear with me.”
“Look at Richard for one,” Paige said trying to keep a straight face.
“Richard has been downright awful but he’s really been trying and we’ve all recognized it and forgiven him. Richard’s choices as shitty as they are don’t define him as a person. He’s one of us and he is deserving of our forgiveness,” Paige said.
“I think,” she continued, “You could stand to forgive yourself a little bit, too. Don’t let this define you, you’re still the Alex we all know and love. And nothing about this is going to change that.”
“Thanks, Paige,” Alex said softly. “Now how about we get ready for dinner?”
Paige smiled and grabbed Alex by the hand, “I thought you’d never ask, now help me pick out something ravishing to wear.”
Alex and Paige descended to the villa’s courtyard for dinner just as the house staff finished lighting the candles on the communal table. Alex and Paige took their seats flanked by Marion, Sierra, Brad and Kylie.
Marion and Scott gracefully descended the steps, Richard emerged from his room and took his seat at the head of the table in his now trademark linen head-to-toe outfit.
“Richard,” Scott said commenting on Richard’s linen ensemble, “You might be turning into Ernest Hemingway before our very eyes.”
“Thank you, Scott,” Richard replied saying, “I trust everyone’s had a great day?”
“We did,” Brad said, “Sierra, Kylie and I floated in the ocean and spent the afternoon resting and relaxing, I really couldn’t have asked for more.”
“Now,” Richard intoned, “let’s eat.”
The staff busily began depositing plates onto the table and filling glasses with wine.
“But first,” Richard said punctuating the moment, “I thought maybe we could have some entertainment with dinner.”
“Señor,” Richard said to the house manager who opened the gate to the courtyard.
As the gate opened, a fleet of Mexican jarabe dancers danced into the courtyard and began dancing around The Seven, who suddenly found themselves surrounded by a colorful and vibrant display of dance as the vibrant, technicolor layers of fabric sailed through the air all the while the dancers gently and swiftly engaging in a delicate game of push and pull with their male dance partners.
As part of the jarabe dance, the male partner places a traditional Mexican hat on the ground as the female partner dances around the hat. As the dance reaches it’s climax, the male partner picks up the hat and puts it on his partner’s head.
As the dancers finished their performance, The Seven happily clapped. Richard in particular seemed very taken with the whole display. The lead dancer approached him with his hat on and told him, “Thank you my friends, I am glad you were able to enjoy a traditional Mexican Hat Dance.”
Richard smiled as the gentleman gave him the hat off his head telling him and the rest of the Seven, “This dance is about the many twists and turns of life and love.”
Remember my friends, the man told everyone, “Our saying goes, life is a journey, not a hat,’” Richard smiled and gladly took the hat from the man before turning back to the table.
“Richard,” Kylie said stunned, “I honestly have to say I’ve never seen anything like that, thank you for making the trip so memorable.”
Plate after plate of fresh seafood hit the table in quick succession. The Seven began serving up the culinary offerings family style passing plates around the table loading each up with fresh fish and stacks of piping-hot tortillas as well as fresh salsas in vibrant hues of red and green.
Everyone barely spoke on account of how full their mouths were as everyone wrapped grilled fish in tortillas drizzled with pungent, spicy salsas.
As The Seven happily finished dinner, Brad, Kylie, Sierra, Paige and Alex broke off from the table and headed to the veranda that looked out towards the ocean.
“Who’s up for a night swim?” Kylie said cheerily.
“Hell, I’m in if you guys are,” Paige said confidently chugging her bottle of frosty beer.
Brad, Sierra and Alex in unison said, “Count me in.”
The five descended the steps from the villa to the sand. The ocean looked like a black pane of glass in the dark, the moonlight dancing delicately off its surface. The warm of the night air and the glassiness of the water was practically calling to the five friends to dive in head first.
The five began heading to the water’s edge before Kylie took off in a sprint towards the ocean, stripping off her top on the way. Alex, Paige, Brad and Sierra followed suit and began running towards the water to catch up to Kylie.
Just a few dozen yards from the ocean’s edge, Alex stubbed his toe in the sand as his body was flung forward, his knee skidding across a jagged rock as his body thudded against the sand.
Alex, Paige and Sierra noticed that Alex had fallen and turned heel to run to his side.
Alex had curled into a ball cradling his skinned knee as a small stream of blood poured out from where his skin had split open. The girls rushed to his side crying out, “Alex, are you ok?”
“Oh Alex,” Brad gasped at the sight of the blood. Brad crouched on her knees and reached out to touch the wound but Alex forced her arm away.“Don’t touch me!” Alex exclaimed loudly and harshly.
“I just want to help, babe,” Brad said sweetly. “Trust me,” Alex said more forcefully, “Don’t touch me. I can’t be responsible for hurting you.”
“How could you ever hurt me?” Brad cried. But her cries were all for naught. Alex began uncontrollably sobbing as he held his sides and pressed his forehead into his knees.
“I can’t be responsible,” he continued to cry under his breath. “I won’t hurt you. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.”
“Forgive yourself for what?” Brad asked mystified. Alex crumpled onto the sand and curled himself into the fetal position crying softly, “I could never forgive myself.”
“Brad,” Paige said grabbing Brad by the wrist, “Come over here for a second, let’s give Alex some space.”
Las Colinas Villas, Cabo San Lucas, May 1996
The morning after Alex’s startling revelation on the beach, Alex could practically feeling The Seven rising to support him.
Alex woke to Paige, Brad and Kylie sitting on his bed in their white robes.
“Am I dead?” Alex asked jokingly looking at the girls in their white robes.
“Far from it,” Kylie said, “Rise and shine, Prince Charming,” Kylie said. Kylie gently led Alex out of bed, into his robe and out to the terrace. The girls had a fresh plate of huevos rancheros and a carafe of black coffee waiting for Alex.
“So,” Alex said piercing the early morning quiet, “Is this just because I’m dying?”
“Um,” Brad said, “No, this is because you’re living and you’re going to go on living for quite some time if we have any say in the matter. We know this is serious but we want you to know we’re going to be here for you no matter what.”
“Thanks, girls,” Alex said as he began slicing through his eggs, the yolks running around the edges of his plate like liquid gold.
Later that afternoon, Alex staked out a comfortable chair on the terrace to read a book. Marion and Scott came out to the terrace with cocktails in hand and waved to Alex.
“Alex,” Marion called out. Alex put his book down and turned his attention towards Marion, “What do you say we grab two cocktails and head down to the beach for a minute?”
“Sure,” Alex said.
“Señor,” Marion said flagging down a server.
“Dos margaritas con extra tequila, por favor.”
The server nodded and darted away.
“Extra tequila?” Alex asked slyly.
“Shh,” Marion said trying to keep Scott from noticing.
“Our little secret,” Alex said.
Before long, two frosty margaritas landed on the table between them.
Marion and Alex both grabbed their drinks and stepped down the stairs to the sand.
As Marion and Alex’s feet hit the sand, Alex was taken back to last night as he cried and cried as he let out his secret into the night air. It had felt somewhat cathartic to tell the girls but it was starting to feel like the sensation when you cough up something you’re choking on only to realize there’s still a small piece of food stuck in your throat — you never really feel totally the same after that.
Alex’s friend at his HIV support group told him that having HIV changes your life in such momentous ways that it’s like folding a piece of paper in half, one side is everything that happened before, the fold is where your life changes and everything on the other side is everything that comes next. So here was Alex reaching the point in his life with such a definitive crease running through it. Alex had a clear picture of everything on the “before” and now he was starting to get a clearer picture of everything that came “after.”
One of the few small beauties Alex learned from his support group was that having the disease allows one to strip away tangential social relationships, that the clarity afforded by having such a deep accounting of your life and focus on one’s body allows one to see the relationships and people that truly do matter and care.
Alex was certainly having no trouble in that department. The Seven were proving to be formidable allies, friends and more importantly, the family Alex needed to get through this trying and challenging time.
As Marion and Alex walked onto the sand, Marion stopped at a bowed log laying under a swaying palm, the log knotted and worn by the sea air serving as a bench for the two to sit and admire the waves softly licking at the sand.
“I’ve got a secret to tell you,” Marion said dubiously. Alex gulped and said “Funny enough, so do I.”
Marion held her head back holding the hat on her head and laughed, “Oh what timing!” she exclaimed.
“You first,” Alex said deflecting his own secret as long as he could.
“Scott proposed!” Marion exclaimed holding out her hand proudly towards Alex as she cocked her wrist so Alex could see the glittering band.
“Oh, Mar,” Alex sighed, “It’s gorgeous.”
“Right?” Marion said, “He has such great taste, I mean obviously,” Marion said tracing her hips and bust with her hands.
“But, obviously,” Marion continued, “Let’s keep this between us.”
“Just for now,” Marion said. “I mean, I will tell Richard eventually in good time.”
Alex nodded as Marion said “You know, things with him and Scott are pretty good right now but you never know what’s going to send ol’ Dick over the edge and I’d prefer to keep Richard in a good place for now.”
“As someone who’s been on both Richard’s good and bad sides, I’d say I totally understand where you’re coming from.” Alex replied as he and Marion shared a knowing smile.
“Now you,” Marion prodded. “I’m dying,” Alex said, the words dropping out of his mouth like heavy stones.
Marion’s face contorted as she tried to comprehend what Alex was saying, “Surely you’re not, you’re so young?”
“I wish I could agree with you but it’s true, I have HIV,” Alex said boldly.
“And unfortunately there’s only one way this ends, there’s no way out, there’s no way to win.” Alex said stoically as he exhaled deeply, the weight already lifting off of him.
“Well,” Marion said, “Chin up, kid, the way I see it, everyday we wake up, we’re all dying just a little bit. The key is, to look damn good and enjoy every last second of it. That’s how you win,” Marion said pointing at Alex to land her point.
“Thanks, Marion,” Alex said sweetly, “I always knew your beauty and brains knew no bounds.”
“Flattery, my dear boy, will get you everywhere,” Marion said with a flair of drama.
“And,” Marion continued, “I know Richard can be a real prick but, he’s obviously really taken to you, so when you’re ready, I recommend you share your story with him. I think even though you think you know all you can know about Richard, he can surprise you when you least expect it.”
“For such a broken, messed up guy, he does have a heart down in there,” Marion said.
“Thanks, Mar,” Alex replied, “I will.”
NexTV Studios, Burbank, CA, July 1996
“Jesus,” Tim spat, “Can we get makeup in here? Everyone looks too pretty,” Tim said, as the hair and makeup team scurried onto the set. “Remember, we need shipwrecked, not shiny and glam,” Tim said angrily to the key hairstylist.
“Anything in particular?”the poor key stylist asked.
“Shipwrecked,” Tim said flustered, “Your job, not mine. Enough questions,” Tim said dismissively.
“Okay, people,” the dejected stylist said to his team, “Let’s tone down the makeup.”
“How so?” one of the stylists asked.
“We have a bunch of Mariahs and I need them toned down to like a Courtney Love level - get it?” The key stylist said as his team nodded and went to work.
The stylists produced baby wipes and went about de-glamming the cast to get the look Tim was going for.
The Seven had found themselves in the finale on Robert Davies’ yacht sailing to Mexico which veered dramatically of course in a storm and ended the season finale on a shot of the ship crashing ashore on a rocky island leaving the fate of The Seven in question.
Today, The Seven were filming some of their newest scenes for Season 5 meant to reveal who survived being marooned and the dramatic turn of events leading up to their eventual rescue.
Unsurprisingly, The Seven were all destined to survive being marooned.
There had been at one point talk in the writer’s room of having the whole scenario devolving into a psychological, Lord of the Flies-like power struggle taking place over several episodes but such an idea was vetoed by Howard as excessive tedium.
It was collectively decided that The Seven would be swiftly rescued so as to not drag out the survival and eventual rescue and get the cast back to their normal cocktail of scheming and cat fighting as soon as possible.
As the series crested into Season 5 buoyed by strong ratings, a new change came in the form of Deborah Bradley, a strong and commanding creative executive from the network who ascended to the position of show runner, charged with keeping the show fresh and maintaining Breakers’ hold on the ratings.
Deborah held her position with Howard staying close behind as a producer to see that his vision for the show was being seen through.
Such a changing of the guard meant that Howard’s grasp over the cast’s publicity and marketing was swept aside for Deb’s brash but effective vision as to how the show should be marketed.
Deb initially bristled at Howard’s tabloid-heavy machinations which she found to be diminishing and low brow and instead focused on more conventional branding and marketing that relied less on salacious stunts, sham relationships and even more craven ploys for attention.
One other major change in the group of late was that Richard and Alex moved in together. Following Alex’s revelation in Mexico, Alex followed Marion’s advice and broke the news to Richard about his diagnosis.
To Alex’s great surprise, Richard converted the east side of his penthouse unit into an expansive guest suite and asked Alex to move in with him in order to offer Alex company and support.
Alex happily took Richard up on his offer, Alex moved out of his bungalow on Elevado and into Richard’s luxury building. Before long, Alex was waking up each day, his room drenched in sunlight as the sun would rise over the daily marine layer. Richard had spent no expense at converting Alex’s suite which made him feel particularly at home.
The two also began driving to work together and would spend their drive running lines. Living with Richard was good for Alex, having Alex around motivated Richard to work out with Alex in his building’s gym and before long the two were nearly inseparable. Alex also inspired Richard to get better in the kitchen and before long, Richard’s takeout bill had been slashed nearly in half as Richard became more skilled in the kitchen using Alex’s family recipes as a template.
Richard’s new assistant, Laura Saunders, took quite a liking to Alex as well. Often times, Alex would wake to a plate of breakfast or two toasted bagels and cream-cheese ready for the drive with two to-go coffee cups for the drive with notes from Laura,
R & A, enjoy!
Have a great day,
L.
Alex was becoming quite happy with the little family unit he, Richard and Laura were building together.
As far as Alex was concerned, things were going pretty well for him. Alex also, at Richard’s urging came out to Howard about his diagnosis.
Alex was initially hesitant to do so given how aggressively Howard and the previous show runner, Tom, had “straight-washed” him in earlier seasons. Shockingly enough, Howard was initially incredibly supportive even offering to make Alex’s diagnosis a larger part of the show as not just a plot point but a teaching moment.
Howard, while maybe somewhat close-minded, was not totally myopic. Howard saw the potential impact such a revelation could potentially have not just on the show but on the audience at large.
HIV was still in 1996 an incredibly misunderstood disease given that the nation was still stigmatized by the HIV boogeymen narratives hatched under the Reagan administration. Howard instead saw this a chance to be a real pioneer - he didn’t see this as a challenge but rather as an opportunity to make sure Breakers was more than just a silly soap opera but rather a trailblazing cultural touchstone addressing real, weighty issues of the day.
Howard knew such a pivot would not be easy, he knew that his decision was likely to draw the ire of conservatives and could likely mean the end of his career but Howard felt a certain sense of fatherly protectiveness over Alex and figured his career longevity was a small price to pay to stand up for what was right.
Not just for what was right for Howard and the show but what was right for his audience. Howard would likely face repercussions for his decision but he was determined to face such repercussions head on knowing he used his platform to do some good.
Thankfully, as Deborah Bradley took over as show runner, she shared Howard’s vision for Alex’s future for she too, had the foresight to see what good a HIV positive character could serve as a major cultural moment.
Just as the stars started to align in Alex’s favor, storm clouds started to appear on the horizon. While Deborah, the first lesbian woman to serve as a show runner on a major network series, was steadfast in her conviction that Alex’s character, Sammy, would ‘come out’ as HIV positive in Season 5, the network execs balked at her plan fearing the blowback such a revelation would draw from conservatives who had already for years derided the show as a moral morass of sin and crumbling family values. The thought of making one of The Seven into the very embodiment of the conservative right’s dogma was terrifying to the network.
Fearing condemnation not just from conservatives but from sponsors turning away from NexTV en masse, the network tried to pressure Deborah to consider alternatives like re-casting Sammy Preston or ditching the storyline outright.
But holding fast to her convictions, Deborah instead sought a compromise. Deborah sensed that the network’s fear was that an HIV positive character would be perceived as a homosexual given that the Regan years largely painted HIV as an unseemly “gay” disease.
Deborah’s proposed approach was to use the storyline as a teaching moment that HIV did not discriminate and was a disease that could happen to anyone regardless of sexual orientation.
In doing so, she conceived that Sammy would remain straight for all intents and purposes but his character would contract HIV through a casual sexual partner in order to more accurately reflect the realities of the time.
Deborah devised a series of PSAs that could run in concert with this storyline fronted by The Seven that would urge viewers to practice safe sex.
Deborah envisioned that this approach might be less likely to rankle conservatives and sponsors in that it would approach a scary topic with a very factual and non fear-based approach to a very real and pressing social issue.
However, Deborah’s best laid plans were scuttled. As soon as word got out that a major character would “come out” as HIV positive, the controversy targeted at the show and NexTV itself was swift and crushing.
Conservatives railed against the show nearly daily on talk shows and Sunday sermons screaming from pulpits urging viewers to turn away from the godlessness of Breakers Beach.
Anita Hill, appearing on Rush Limbaugh called Breakers and NexTV by extension, “sinful, amoral peddlers of filth designed to pervert the youth of America.”
After strong ratings for the shipwrecked season premiere leading up to the derided “coming out” episode, known internally as “The Sun Also Rises,” ratings began to crater as the show turned in record rating lows week after week for months on end.
By the time The Seven’s Ad Council PSA was shot and ready to air, even Alex was having second thoughts about the hellish road the show suddenly found itself on at the moment.
NexTV Studios, Burbank, CA, November 1996
“I just want it to all go away,” Alex said to Deborah across her desk in her office.
“Is this about the PSA?” Deborah asked, “I think it’s wonderful,” Deborah said to him.
“Please let me out of my contract,” Alex pleaded.
“Oh, Alex,” Deborah said. “What’s wrong? I know these last few months have been hard on you,” Deborah told Alex earnestly. “You don’t understand what it’s like, everywhere I go, people swear at me, spit on me and throw things at me. I can’t live like this.”
“I can’t fathom facing the world as the member of The Seven with HIV,” Alex pleaded.
“And look what it’s doing to the show,” Alex said anguished. “I should just get out of here before I damage the show any more than I already have,” he said sadly.
“It’s just a momentary ratings slide,” Deborah reassured him, “For a show in its fifth season this is not unusual.”
“Yeah but I haven’t even come out yet, what’s going to happen to the show when I come out?” Alex asked.
“Well,” Deborah said as her posture stiffened, “Let’s do a little exercise.”
“You have a theater background, right?” Deborah asked.
“I do,” Alex said. “Great,” Deborah continued, “So let’s pretend we’re in a huge theater and I’m sitting in the very back row.”
“Ok,” Alex said going with her train of thought. “Now you’re on stage and you’re talking to another character in a whisper,” Deborah said.
“What am I saying?” Alex inquired. “You’re telling him your full name,” Deborah replied, “Go on, say it,” she instructed him.
“My name is Alex Russo,” Alex whispered to no one in particular. “Ok,” Deborah said, “Now, again, but louder so I can hear you.”
“My name is Alex Russo,” Alex said in a louder voice. “The theater is really full and very big, so I need to hear it louder all the way in the back,” Deborah said.
“My name is Alex Russo!” Alex exclaimed louder as his voice rang in Deborah’s ears.
“Again,” she instructed. “My name is Alex Russo,” Alex proclaimed, not so much louder than before, just more direct and clearly as his voice projected across Deborah’s office from somewhere deep within his abdomen.
“You see?” Deborah asked Alex. “That’s what’s going to happen when this episode airs.”
“You’re going to go from a whisper to a loud booming voice everyone will be able to hear and more importantly, a voice no one will ever be able to forget.”
AIDS Alliance Healthcare, West Hollywood, CA, June 1997
Carmen Santos brushed her curly black hair out of her face as she looked at Alex. Carmen was Alex’s case worker at AIDS Alliance, West Hollywood’s local AIDS care center.
On account of Alex’s profile, Carmen helped Alex keep up with doctors, insurance and navigate the byzantine network of necessary matters crucial to one’s care.
Carmen slid a sheet of paper across her desk towards Alex. Alex scanned the sheet and looked at Carmen quizzically. “What’s this?” Alex asked curiously.
“This is your new schedule,” Carmen said matter-of-factly.
Alex scanned the schedule which had listed out his daily doses of antiviral medications and dedicated times in which Alex was to eat:
8 AM: Antiviral
9 AM: Food
11 AM: Antiviral
1 PM: Food
And so on, his day scheduled from dawn to dusk, a constantly undulating schedule alternating between food and pills.
“Look, Carmen,” Alex said, “I am on a TV show, I’m really no stranger to schedules but this is a bit too regimented even for me.”
“Look, kid,” Carmen said bluntly, “these meds have to be taken at specifically timed intervals around your food.”
Alex scrunched his face examining this new rigid schedule until Carmen interrupted his train of thought.
“Just think,” Carmen said punctuating Alex’s rumination, “people may call this a death sentence but I have to break it to you, the way I look at it, it’s a life sentence.”
“And,” she continued, “The conditions of your life sentence are right here on this piece of paper. In time it will become like clockwork and you’ll keep all the machinery that makes Alex Russo keep ticking along on schedule.”
“These drugs are getting better every day,” Carmen continued projecting a sense of optimism and hope onto Alex, “I mean, I’m not making any promises here but, who knows what AIDS healthcare will look like a year from now or even a decade from now,” Carmen said as her words hung in the air as if she were imagining this future she was speaking into being.
“You really think I could be alive a decade from now?” Alex asked wistfully struggling to see Carmen’s vision of the future.
“I’m not making any promises,” Carmen said, “And I can’t see the future or anything, but, I know enough to know that you can’t see that future if you don’t take the steps towards that future right now. And, all those steps are on this paper right here,” Carmen said as she rapped her desk with her knuckle to drive home her point.
Geoffrey’s, Malibu, CA, June 1997
Richard and Alex pulled into the valet at Geoffrey’s. The Seven had recently wrapped a tumultuous Season 5.
Alex’s coming out made for a powerful and potent season but the personal repercussions had worn on Alex. The vitriol directed towards him by the conservative media was brutal and while he had expected some of the hate and indifference directed towards him, the actual reality of living it was becoming more than he could bear.
The pain of living with his diagnosis was becoming even more amplified by the media.
Alex considered asking to be let out of his contract again at the end of Season 5, but to what end? Alex was terrified that he would be unable to find work elsewhere and he eventually convinced himself that staying on Breakers was in its own way, the best form of revenge and protest for it was at Breakers he would have a platform from which he could leave a lasting testament to living and thriving with the disease.
But living and thriving were becoming incredibly difficult to achieve in concert.
Alex began falling into a deep spiral of depression often thinking about ways to end his suffering but each time he would make a plan to end it all for good, something would happen that would scatter his plans, his goal posts for eternal solace always moving.
For instance, Richard inviting him out to dinner this night in particular for it was these little unexpected miracles that Alex found the drive to keep going - each interruption into his best laid plans keeping Alex alive and fighting.
Alex’s controversial “coming out” episode, “The Sun Also Rises,” while savaged by conservatives was praised by critics as an “epic paradigm shift in TV storytelling - elevating soap opera tedium to prescient social commentary.”
Unfortunately, the acclaim did not help as Breakers had been particularly battered by the controversy of Season 5, felled by sagging ratings and the immense amount of negative publicity focused on “The Sun Also Rises,” in particular drove the show to new ratings lows - Breakers went from being a king of Tuesday night programming to barely registering on the radar.
Heading out of Season 5, rumors abounded that Breakers would undoubtedly move nights for Season 6 - a certain death knell that had sunken numerous TV mega hits over the years.
The Seven eagerly awaited to hear their fate at the network upfronts, the network’s annual presentation to advertisers which would preview the fall lineup. After the brutal fifth season, NexTV would unveil that Breakers was exiled to Ratings Siberia: Friday nights at 9PM.
As Alex and Richard took their table on the veranda, Richard ordered a bottle of sauvignon blanc for Alex and a bottle of sparkling water for himself.
“Wow,” Alex said noticing the order. “Are we celebrating?”
“But of course,” Richard said, “We’ve got to cheers to the end of what I know was an incredibly challenging season.”
Alex smiled and took in the moment savoring every detail, the salty sea breeze, the sound of a light jazz piano wafting through the air and the smell of the blooming jasmine lining the veranda. And on top of it all, Alex found himself in awe of the little family he had fostered with Richard and Laura.
Growing up without a brother, Alex found himself thinking of Richard as a surrogate brother and Laura, the doting sister always trailing close behind looking after her brothers.
And by the same token, Richard found himself in a similar situation - Richard, always the cocksure ladies man had somehow learned to set aside his carnal desire to seek out sex and companionship and instead transferred his impulsive desires into a drive to take care of Alex. This was quite possibly the first time Richard ever learned to care about someone else as much as he cared about himself but something about Alex, his situation and his place in Richard’s life changed Richard for the better.
As the chilled bottle of Sauvignon Blanc arrived on the table. Richard grabbed a wine glass and held it up for the waiter who filled the glass which Richard passed to Alex while the waiter served Richard’s sparkling water.
“To, Alex,” Richard proclaimed as the two lifted their glasses towards each other, the glasses clinking in unison, the sound ringing out in perfect harmony, similar to how Alex and Richard found themselves now.
“To us,” Alex said smiling.
Next time on The Sins of the Seven:
Kylie steps into the spotlight—but behind her glow is a grind few understand. As the group questions her loyalty and power shifts behind the scenes, the unity of The Seven begins to crack.
THE SINS OF THE SEVEN
WEDNESDAYS ON Rhodes Ave Press